They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
