S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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