hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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