Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
