Will you blow on my dice?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
