so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The beer is more important than you right now.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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