So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
