She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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