I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
