i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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