I got her a Nickelback box set.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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