I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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