well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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