i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
