my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
