i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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