Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
