My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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