Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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