10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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