just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
