drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
