It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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