Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
