i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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