Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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