Can i not drive my cunt home
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
