thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
