dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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