Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
