if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
God I need to hump something, right now.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
