Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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