Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
