these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
