you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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