it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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