I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
