Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
