I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
