How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
