He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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