Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
