ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
