No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
