i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
