I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
