Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
