Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm going to jail i love you
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
