What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
