It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
