After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
