so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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