Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
