oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
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Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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