I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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