I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
