margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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