So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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