my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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