there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
