Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
