I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Its about making memories worth repressing
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
