He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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