and you said cock pushups were impossible
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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