I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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