My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
