I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
