at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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