Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
