yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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