Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
