So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
