i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
